I can’t believe it!
In just a few days we will celebrate Tahlia’s 11th month home.
WOW.
In fact, this time last year we were in the home stretch!!!
You just couldnt even imagine the excitement that just oozed and bursted from the seems of this home.
we were waiting for our Travel Approval to go get our daughter!
We had prayed that we’d get it in time to be able to get a Consulate Appointment early enough to insure us to be home with our family for Christimas.
But, it wasn’t looking good.
We needed a miracle. We asked for prayer and our family and friends faithfully joined us in prayer
Well, On Thanksgiving eve we had unbelievably received our Travel Approval that wasn’t supposed to have come to us till after the holiday and well into the next week!
This gave us greater hope that we’d get our Christmas miracle.
And, our miracle happened on the night of Thanksgiving….we had a received our confirmed Consulate Appointment for Dec. 21st.
That meant that our prayers had been answered! We were going to be ALL TOGETHER as a family for Christmas!
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| all together for Christmas! (this photo was taken the evening we came home on December 23rd!) |
So, last month I wrote about part one of Tahlia’s Adoption story and how we were steered by the Lord to adopt her in HIS timing and it’s a HUGE testament to how Sovereign the Lord is and how we can always trust his timing.
I want to continue the story on this post and write about the most amazing day of our lives….the day we saw our 5th child’s face for the first time. It was the moment we had dreamed about for months….and, it had come…..
It was the night of July 4th. I got an email from my agency director telling us they just received an updated agency list and she asked us if we would like to review the files of two little girls who both had un-repaired cleft lip and palate.
MY JAW DROPPED!!!! IN DISBELIEF!
Were we REALLY being asked to see two files, and could our little girl be in that file??
OK… I RUN UPSTAIRS….ASK BRIAN
He told me “ABSOLUTELY WE WANT TO SEE THESE FILES!!!”
So we opened each medical file first before looking at the pics. We had agreed that this was how we were going to do it, so we could be non-emotional (if that is possible) in assessing the medical file. So, after reviewing the files everything looks wonderful and there are NO red flags that we see. So, here we go and we open the photos. Both are precious beautiful, sweet girls, but something super-natural and amazing happened when we looked into the eyes of the second photo…..WE KNEW WE WERE LOOKING AT OUR TAHLIA!!!!
It had been our prayer request that God would make it abundantly clear to us when we come across our daughter, and HE did! We just knew it!
The next day we prayed to be able to get a trained doctor’s eye to look at the file and give us the green light that all was ok with her blood work and to see if there were any red flags. We waited for a couple hours trying to find a doctor who is familiar with this need.(in the meantime, I had to call my mom and share the news, I was busting at the seams! I also knew she would be praying!) Through an amazing turn of events, I was actually able to get the doctor who is on the “Cranofacial team” at AI Dupont Children’s Hospital to review it! This is the same doctor who we will be consulting and who will be performing surgery to correct her clefts. Getting his professional approval was an answered prayer!
So, I immediately emailed our agency director to let them know that we are OFFICIALLY ACCEPTING THE REFERRAL!!! (did I really just write that????) WE COULDN’T BELIEVE IT!!
Then we got to tell the kids the next day!
They wouldn’t believe us till we showed them proof!:)
It’s pretty amazing how GOD just KNOWS everything and plans everything out for your good! He even works despite our fears.
 Before we knew who our sweet Tahlia was, Brian and I were told to fill out a “special needs checklist” of what we could and couldn’t accept. This bothered me so much and I struggled, we both did. There were certain items that were easy to check …and, some items that were easy not to check. We knew there were certain needs that we were not capable of handling. For instance, deafness….we don’t know sign language, and thought that it would be very hard to accommodate that special need. Yet, if we biologically conceived a child who was deaf….we would certainly learn what we would need to learn to be a great parent. So, even that check box is hard.
There were many items we researched and were torn over. How could we choose from a list that held so many intimidating words? Yet, so so many babies waiting to be adopted with special needs. Oh, Lord…. don’t make us choose!!! Here’s the thing, I didn’t want to “box God in” to my check boxes. See, I didn’t know who our daughter was. But, I knew He had already chosen her….what if I miss her because we didn’t check the right box?? (my human mind thinking) …..And, the more we researched each “need” the harder it would become to decide if we should “check it or not check it.” Quite frankly, so many needs are just so daunting! I just wanted God to fill out the paper. Let HIM DECIDE!!! I didn’t get to fill out a checklist when we got pregnant. We just simply had to trust that God would give us what He chooses….we hope for the best! But we wait, and trust. Staring at that checklist just opened up a big ol’ can of FEAR!
It just so happens that one of the items that we were torn over was “cleft lip and palate” It was unfamiliar, and scary, knowing of all the surgeries and speech issues in the future. Though, we did a lot of research and reasoned that this was just cosmetic, and the children are otherwise healthy. So, this was comforting. We marked “yes”. But, then…after more research (I hate google sometimes) I was wavering and got scared (again, of the unknowns), and I asked Brian if maybe we should take it off our list because the idea of those major surgeries was very disconcerting! I would read of other adopter’s experiences, calling this a “moderate need” and not a “minor need” (I guess because of all the surgeries and possible future speech therapy). I knew there were many children with clefts waiting for families to love them. `Thousands of children in China are abandoned for this very reason. But, fear set in. We then called our agency director to have it taken off our list, un-check that box! However, we did not feel a peace, just more turmoil (I really don’t like that list). So, we just went back to praying……but, we didn’t add it back to the the list.
Would you believe that God is so amazing and just absolutely NOT limited to our fears or lists, or “lack of checks”!!Â
Fast forward to that night…..that awesome night on the 4th of July when our director contacted us on the 4th of July with the file of Nan Xiu Xiu. She said that, although we had taken cleft lip/palate off our checklist, she still wanted to know if we wanted to see this file and consider it. She said she doesn’t usually go outside of the checklist, but felt the desire to ask us to view the files. WOW…….****God is SOVEREIGN****
So, I prayed (even before telling Brian that we were asked to view a file)…I prayed that God would speak through Brian as to whether we should even look at it. I then got up from the computer and “calmly” told Brian that our director wanted to know if we would like to view the file of a little girl (screaming inside, but keeping a calm demeanor)…..”ummm, with cleft lip and palate”. I waited for his answer (knowing and trusting God would use Brian to either open the door, or shut it) and Brian said : “absolutely!!!!” (my mouth fell open in shock and awe) I knew God was working!! A peace, that transcended all understanding, just simply washed over my heart. I ran downstairs, almost tripping, and couldn’t wait to lay eyes on this child’s pics! Brian yelled for me to WAIT FOR HIM!!! LOL
There were actually two files that were sent to us. But, as soon as we saw our Xiu Xiu’s face we knew she was our daughter. All fears melted away…that was OUR BABY!
It was very super-natural….no, it was so God. God is not limited by out fears and doubts…and foolish mistakes (like taking cleft off a check list).
It’s like Moses when he was standing in front of the burning bush and God had told him to go tell Pharoah to “let his people go” and Moses, said “no God, I can’t do this….I am not good with words”….Well, God helped Moses and still used him, despite his fears. He led the Isrealites out of Egypt! Then, there is Jonah…..oh yeah, there was a man of fear. He even RAN from God, and even jumped overboard….ummm, I can relate. But, God mercifully brought a whale to save him and give him another chance. Jonah was filled with fear, kept running….but God kept pursuing him. And, God’s purposes prevailed through Jonah. Even though we can become paralyzed by gripping fears, God still works through us. Then, we are called to step forward and trust Him.
Yeah, we are out of our comfort zone….in a big way. And, fears still creep up from time to time. But, God doesn’t call us to be comfortable…he calls us to reckless faith for Him. Mary wasn’t comfortable when she heard she would carry Jesus. Abraham wasn’t comfortable when he was told Sarah would bear a son at such an old old age. Was Noah comfortable building a big ol’ ark while everyone laughed and mocked at him? Was Moses’ mom comfortable putting her dear son in a basket to float away to a stranger? Was Miriam comfortable watching her brother be claimed by the Egyptian princess? Were the disciples comfortable laying down their lives to follow Jesus? Was Paul comfortable in jail? ummm, no. I am beginning to think that following Jesus, is not always comfortable….and when we get comfortable, we better do a “spirit/life check”. God calls us out of our comfort zones….into an exciting life of serving Him, and showing love to those He loves. However, the peace in knowing you are in the center of His will….nothing compares. He melts away the fears.
Though, we are human….we struggle with fear and doubt. I am so thankful that God is not boxed in by our doubts. And, that He (in His grace) works despite our fears.
 Despite us, He still put our daughter in front of our eyes and allowed our hearts to feel the “peace that transcends all understanding.” He chose her, not us. He chose her “special need”…not us.
 When we truly seek his will, He is so gracious to reveal His plans and purposes for our lives. I am so glad we didn’t “miss” her….We are so blessed to get to be her parents. His hand has been in this from the beginning.
***click here to see Tahlia’s Adoption Journey video
and I will leave you with this precious video of Tahlia singing while we were in China. Oh, how I miss that sweet cleft lip!
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