4 months.

4 months.

4 months of absolute Earth shattering pain and soul -crushing anguish.

It’s a new heartbreak with every new day and with every experience.

The season change is especially hard now without our baby.

So many tears

Gianna should be opening her new school supplies too and gearing up for “first grade” homeschool.

 

She loved tearing into her new school box which held all her fresh crayons and scissors.  I miss her squeals of delight.

 

 

 

It’s living the impossible nightmare that you can not wake up from.
Four months and some would expect us to get back to “normal” but Normal is no more for us.

 

 

 

 

We are all changed by our unfathomable and inconceivable loss.

Grief is a part of us now and forever because our baby is forever a part of us. Grief transforms us through this crushing.

 

 

 

 

We are tearing through and navigating these bitter layers to a new version of us that the battlefield is revealing.

 

 

You see, Our beautiful Gianna left us a gift. We got to witness our warrior survive and fiercely thrive with a broken heart for 4 beautiful brave years.

 

 

 

 

She taught us how to fight for true joy and true light within the battles.

 

 

 

 

This unfamiliar life on this side of our tragedy is a road through a harsh battlefield that requires a warrior mentality to fight the darkness.

 

 

 

 

We crawl, we bleed and stumble into pits that feel like HELL.

But God never leaves us there to fight alone.

He crawls in with us to the dark places and He never condemns us when we are at our ugliest.

 

 

 

Instead….He sits, holds us and weeps with us till we are ready to climb back out and bravely walk on again through this war.

 

 

 

 

We are bruised and beat up and so that changes how we interact and respond with the world.

We are weak yet so thankful for the grace-giving village.

4 months is just too long

 

 

 

 

 

We pray every day for strength to keep pressing on in courage and in hope as we navigate new life through this new lens.

We absolutely believe and cling to the Hope that Beauty will rise, but we are forever changed through these ashes and fire.

 

 

 

 

Holding on to the only one who can restore.

We miss you so very much our precious Gianna

 

 

 

 

We love you SO SO SO MUCH all the way to heaven.  Sending so many kisses and hugs to you always and forever.

 

 

 

 

Keep sending all the butterfly kisses and rainbows to us, we are forever watching. heaven for your love and light……