"The desert will rejoice and bloom like a Wildflower"
Isaiah 35:1

Changed forever

Can I just share my heart for a moment.
I’m so overwhelmed.  Amazed.  In awe. Brought to literal sobs and tears tonight.
The strength and bravery this precious warrior has displayed these past 6 weeks has blown me away. Sometimes the reality of it all hits me at once, like a ton of bricks.
My heart has been permanently ripped and scorched  by the magnitude of all I’ve had to watch her endure to get to her incredible miracles
….and through all the hard procedures following and preceding  the numerous surgeries, when given the option (and sometimes strongly encouraged), not once did I ever choose to leave the room. As heart wrenching as it has been to watch and walk her through these difficult and traumatic moments, never once did I ever want to leave her side. If she was going to be brave then this mama was going to be brave right by her side holding her hand, stroking her head and singing her through every terrible moment. Not because I’m strong, i was terrified…but because I made her a promise that i was not going to break.
Honestly, “I” was weak, but God held us both up by His grace….and gave  me strength in those impossible moments when it was needed most. God has used our courageous daughter’s battle to teach me bravery, trust and surrender. That’s a gift.
Tonight, a special ICU nurse came by to visit us and i just lost it. These nurses were my “on earth” lifeline those terrible  unsure 4 weeks of CICU.  The nurse reitetated how amazing Gianna is… in all that she has had to overcome. I just sobbed and hugged her and said, “I know. I know.”…there just aren’t adequate words to describe my awe.
My God is just amazing.
I praise God for His workings…for His grace to heal her heart… that He chose us to be hers, to be the ones to witness this raw, difficult splendor.
An honor that I feel unworthy of.
She is a hero, my heart-hero….and I’m so thankful I’ve had the blessing to walk her through these miracles as her blessed mama.
This Christmas, we’ve been given the  gift of a new heart for our beautiful daughter through a mountainous and incredible journey that defeated all odds because  our God is mighty to save.  
And there are times that He chooses to make that  fact so visibly known to His waivering children.
And as a result of His power thru an incredible and ridiculously gifted surgeon, through the powerful prayers of so many around the world, her future is now filled with even more Hope and possibility.
I still can’t believe what He’s done.
I’m humbled…changed forever.
Adoption is not for everyone and I totally get that but I  just have to say that If “you” are considering adoption and fear you will be taking on.more than YOU can handle, you very well may be (I can relate)..but God is greater than our abilities and fears and He is desiring to show you what He Can do, if we only trust fall back on Him.  Don’t let fear make you miss His miracles, if that is all that is holding you back.
Each precious waiting child is worth the hard, terrifying and incredible journey, no matter the outcome.
Many will attest to that powerful truth 
“I can promise, You will be changed forever by your warrior child”  
Just So grateful for His gift.
Many, LORD my God, are the wonders you have done, the things you planned for us. None can compare with you; were I to speak and tell of your deeds, they would be too many to declare.
(psalm 40:5)

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