Moving along! (in our first trimester) ;)

Well, exactly one month after our initial agency interview, we have officially submitted all necessary paperwork for our home study. We are just awaiting some referral letters to arrive at the agency, and have I mentioned my unending appreciation, and gratitude to those lifelong friends who took the time to write a letter for us…I know it was a pain, and maybe a little stressful. LOL….but THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!
Can I just tell you what a HUGE accomplishment this was for us to gather all these docs….see, when we left the agency one month ago, I had in my hand a checklist about a mile long of all the documents that needed to be turned in to officially start the social worker interviews to complete our home study. Here is a little taste of the paperwork that we had to chase down:
birth certificates, certified
marriage certificates
driving record
fire inspection
medicals/ lab work
fingerprints
abuse clearances
personal typed 5 page autobiography (that was not fun, LOL)
release forms
1040 tax forms, pay stubs, financial statements (bank, mortgage, insurance, loans, etc…… :-o)
monthly expenses forms
employment letters
guardianship agreement
photos
a TON of agency forms ( I stopped reading after a while, and just kept signing….) LOL
health and housing inspection (had to make sure I cleaned thoroughly that day) 😉
evacuation plan
class training
on-line training
.ect…
.ect…
.ect…

…..and well, we’re really not done…not even close! Just done enough to have a social worker interview, so that our home study can be signed off on! Let’s hope we pass! Seriously though, I am very nervous about the initial interview. I hope we get a nice lady who is not too uptight! ;-p
Our next step is to start gathering the documents for our “dossier”, these are the set of “very official” documents, including our home study, that will be sent to China to let them know who we are and to see if we are fit to adopt from their country. I have to be honest, this part really overwhelms me. We have to make sure every “I” is dotted and every “T” is crossed in a certain, specific, and special way. Then, we have to get them signed/ certified/ sealed (something like that?? I am still trying to figure it all out) at the county and state levels. Then…..then…..then…… I WILL BE ABLE TO EXHALE!!! The first phase will be DONE!
This first phase of this adoption process feels a lot like the first semester of pregnancy. I remember those first few months of being pregnant like it was yesterday. I felt SO EXHAUSTED, sick and worn out. And, on the outside you really couldn’t see much change. But, on the inside there was so much work being done, a miracle of life being created and fashioned by our Wonderful Maker. I have been so tired and I think it’s been mental exhaustion from constantly needing to be on my toes, to keep up with whats been signed, notarized, emailed, copied, filed, read, checked off, appointments booked, letters faxed, phone calls made. But, once our “dossier” has been mailed to China, and we are logged in to the system, then we will be able to get matched with our daughter!!! WHAT A DAY THAT WILL BE!!!! The wait and process till that day just feels so dark, unknown….mysterious, blind and intangible. No”belly bump” yet, no physical or tangible evidence of our child being created . Not much change on the outside. We have no photo to kiss and pray over, no face, no medical history, no name, no known location in China….no outward signs or physical proof of our daughter being out there somewhere. However, Our God is at work!!!! Just as in pregnancy, there is an inner miracle happening that is BIGGER than we could ever imagine.
How can we adore and love someone we don’t even know yet? A little baby we’ve never seen? How is it that we can feel so attached to a little girl who is 1/2 way around the world, who we can’t even touch yet? I have come to this conclusion: it is our Creator’s masterpiece, His miracle… the miracle of adoption. In pregnancy, He miraculously creates a child in a mommy’s womb, but in adoption its a different creation in the mommy….a special, STRONG and unique one of the heart,soul and mind. IT IS A MIRACLE! She is being born in our hearts, a fierce and unquenchable love is being ignited that is burning brighter and bigger each day. Once we have her photo in our hands and we can finally put a sweet, possibly chubby, and cheeky face to our vision and calling, then we will see “our belly-bump”, our “ultrasound picture” if you will. We will have in our hands the tangible evidence of this miracle that God is lovingly fashioning before our eyes. It will feel so much more real. This process is a walk of blind faith in God’s calling, a trust in the vision he has written on our hearts….we are called to just simply trust as hard as it is. After we have her name, her photo, her story, her location….then every step after that will be filled with more and more elated anticipation of the day we finally fly to China and meet her. Our vision will be birthed!!! (sniff, sniff) Oh, to be able to kiss, hug, and hold tightly to our long -awaited for Chinese daughter. As in pregnancy, every step ( morning sickness/ tons of paperwork ) from now till then, no matter how hard, tedious, or sacrificial….will be more than worth it. We are so blessed to be on this journey, SO BLESSED….

To our sweet daughter in China: wait for us sweet one, hold on, stay strong….mommy and daddy are coming to get you!!! Though we don’t even know you yet, nor have we seen you, we LOVE you.