When she was in China, because of that high ratio of babies to caregivers she was most likely in her crib for 18 hours a day (didnt matter if she was sleeping or awake). Her mattress is a heavy, washable vinyl board and she was given a towel. She was most likely bound to her crib,…because she was a climber :(. She had no one to sing over her, pray over her, or rock her, or pat her sweet bottom. She was placed on an assembly line of bottle feeding (which she fed herself), shower, bed. Then, there were at least 40 other lonely faces (who also need momma’s and daddies), probably filled with tears, all surrounding her….and, that’s what she went to bed to…or woke to in the middle of the night. It was all she knew….for 15 months.
… the night terrors that she has been waking up to in the middle of the night are dwindling…becoming less. The fear that I see in her eyes when I come to get her around midnight to bring her to bed with me, the fear and panic-look, Thank God it’s diminishing.
At home, each night we have it down to a routine. Around 9 pm, daddy and I give her a nice cozy bath, we turn on the blow dryer so she doesn’t get too cold (which she LOVES) LOL… and massage her with warm lotion, we sing over her. Mommy (she still won’t allow daddy to give her a bottle)gives her a warm bottle while holding her and cradling her close, as we converse through eyes and pointed fingers. We then read the same two books each night, “Goodnight Moon” and “Bedtime for the Animals”. We then give night-night kisses to everyone in the house (as they stage as if they are going to sleep too, though they aren’t quite yet), then I turn on her lullabies and I hold her and I pray over her and rock her in my arms till she is just about to drift off (all the while whispering in her ear how much she is SO LOVED). Then, I lower her down so delicately into her crib to keep her in her slumber. I give her her baby and towel to hug close (she still likes having a towel close to her). I lay my hand on her firmly so she knows I am there till she is in a deep sleep…..and she peacefully sleeps.
….weeeeell, that’s how it goes sometimes. Sometimes, she fights and fights or even manipulates. She is so smart!;) She will ask for more milk (in sign language), she will even ask for more kisses (its so cute)…she’ll even ask “where did everyone go” in her little sign language kinda way. And, she’ll want to say “night-night” to everyone all over again. She will fight sleep, but soon enough…with lots of swinging and rocking in my arms, she is off to dreamland. Eventually she succumbs out of exhaustion, but she ALWAYS knows I am there beside her. I never let her go to sleep alone. Not yet, her memories of sleeping that way for 15 months of her life are too fresh. In our home, you fall asleep feeling “held”. When she is deep asleep, I sneak out…cause, I got 4 other babies who need some prayers and kisses and snuggles from their momma.
Who for our safety we depend
I ask you now to come defend
This precious little baby
Sometimes at night she will awaken
Better not, see fear forsaken
To every saint your visit made
You always said, “Don’t be afraid”
Oh Unseen Warriors, Brothers, Friends
Who for our safety we depend
I ask you now to come defend
This precious little baby
I ask you now to come defend
This precious little baby
Johanna, you and your family continue to amaze me. You are doing an amazing job ;). I can't wait to meet her. We will wait until things are routine for you guys. Maybe in the springtime 🙂
Wow, your night time routine sounds exactly like ours here in China. She had her first night terror last night. She cried all night long and was inconsolable. What they have been through to get to this point will take some time to overcome! Praying for you and the others when I pray for Essie.