To say this decision process has been an emotionally draining roller coaster would be an understatement.
However, from the moment we heard the news from Boston….we both knew where God was directing us.
We were excited one moment, scared the next.
But we took time seeking earnestly.
After researching and weighing all the risks both short term and long term of both pathways (continuing down the path of her current “half-heart” circulation vs. converting her to “whole-heart circulation”) Brian and I believe that the Lord wants us to fully embrace the faith journey before us with every ounce of trust in HIS will and HIS power for a FULL repair.
We need to keep reminding ourselves that He divinely brought us to this crossroads and gave us full revelation by showing us which way He wants us to proceed.
We have peace that He wants us to proceed down the pathway to a “whole-heart function” for Gianna.
After all, when we had first discovered that she had a second ventricle and were given the news of the “possibility” of a FULL repair, we were amazed and prayed for this miracle. WE PRAYED BIG….and for many weeks this summer, it seemed less and less of a possibility and we grieved for what we thought would be the final news from Boston to slay this possibility.
It seemed, though, that God was taking us on a journey of new surrender and bringing us back to PRAISING him for her single-ventricle anatomy, and you could say that we had a new peace and “thankfulness”…and we were then content with the idea of the Fontan surgery that would come early spring.
We were leaving her future in His hands… again. (oh the patience Our Father has for us)…
but….then…..
that unexpected phone call from Boston…..unexpected amazing news!!!
jaws dropped.
Boy, were we given the shock of our lives. TRULY.
So, how can we not proceed when God has miraculously opened up this doorway and answered our specific prayers for Gianna’s heart and given us this new long-term hope for her and her precious heart.
HE answered our prayers by divinely getting our daughter’s records in the hands of the TOP heart hospital and one of the TOP bi-ventricle heart repair surgeons in the country. This doctor has told us with confidence that she is a great candidate for this FULL repair and that he can do it. He also believes this IS the best path for her long-term.
This is something only God could orchestrate. And now…. we just need to step out into the waters and walk and follow Him, and wait for Him to show his glory.
But, it is easier said than done.
We have basically committed to relinquish our own limited understanding and mostly the paralyzing fears, and accept that Lord has shown us His will and pathway for Gianna’s heart repair.
In a divine string of events, God sent us Dr. Emani, who is a very competent, gifted, compassionate and skilled surgeon. This man just seems amazing!
Let me tell you, I am the queen of research, and I have discovered that he has an incredible reputation in the medical community as well as the heart parents’ community. What a blessing!
However, even with all that, we can’t trust fully in man….Just like in adoption, there’s just no guarantees on this surgical journey.
That is so so so hard.
AND honestly, I hate that.
I honestly hate that her future outcome (the outcome we want) is not 100% guaranteed by taking this risky surgical step.
We are not promised anything. …Except that God will carry us and go before us.
…I have to trust fully in GOD’S perfect timing and perfect WILL.
Though….
Truthfully, I hate having to lean on faith when it comes to my daughter’s life.
But, we HAVE to choose to trust.
God is bigger than our fears. Fear is not from HIM.
We take full peace in knowing that God knows. This is HIS story and no doubt about it, HE is leading us.
She is fully in the hands of a powerful God who loves her more than any of us ever could…which almost seems impossible to imagine with how much we LOVE and adore our sweet pun’kin head.
But it is true.
He loves her more.
It will be hard….so hard, this journey.
We will be far from home. There will be sacrifice on all ends of the equation.
Have I mentioned that this is a freakin’ scary surgery? Ugh.
But SHE. IS. WORTH. IT.
We choose courage and bravery just as my Gia has had to do, especially the first two years of her life …fighting to live.
The long-term BLESSING will be worth it.
We are convinced this battle will be worth it.
We covet your prayers as details are worked out and fears are “slayed” when they creep up moment by moment.
It looks as though surgery will be scheduled for mid-late fall.
Please start praying now for a fully successful surgery, for insurance issues to work out, for no infections, for an uneventful surgery with a fast record-breaking time re-cooperation!
FOR MIRACULOUS HEALING!!!!!
PLEASE PRAY BIG, people.
WE NEED BIG FAITH PRAYERS!!!!!!!!!!! Also, be praying for the bravery and courage of Gianna’s adoring and brave siblings who love her so much. It will be so hard for them to be separated from her and me for that long. :(. Sigh.
TRUSTING HIM. Squeezing her ever-tightly each day.
PRESSING ON IN CONFIDENCE.
He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. (Psalm 147:3)
Praying for precious Gianna! She is such a little cutie! Also praying for your family during this joyful yet difficult time. Beep you all! ~Allie
Oh, girl praying, praying!!!!! She is such a DOLL!!!!! Praying God overwhelms your mama heart with peace that only our Father can give. For everything to work out with your insurance, for Gianna's healing and recovery. Love your way.