I was just sitting down to write a blog update titled simply “Scaling the wall”
SCALING….
to celebrate the HUGE victory of extubation yesterday!!!
I was finally able to embrace my little girl and feel her “made new” heart beating against mine. Oh the peace to feel her weight against my chest again.
I so missed that with every fiber of my being….
It is no easy feat to get to hold her as she is still hooked up to so many lines, but the amazing nurses made a way for this miracle to happen.
My heart was filled.
The first extubated night was very hard.
Gianna was in so much throat pain but couldn’t get any liquids yet for fear of aspiration and her belly was hurting because of constipation…
after many hours of agony she finally had a BM, praise GOD….first one in 3 weeks. Yeah…it was sizable, poor thing was so backed up 🙁
Then I was finally allowed (with much begging) to soothe my sweet girl (at 3am) with a bottle of milky.
answered prayer
We have endured a very hard first 24 hours being extubated, but I finally felt this evening like she was out of that horrible transition phase and we were enjoying a smoothie together to celebrate and I felt such peace and joy for tangible evidence of my little girl returning back to herself!!
“With your help I can advance against a troop
with my God I can SCALE A WALL” (2 SAM 22:30)
THEN SLAM…….
In comes the surgeon to break the news that it doesn’t appear that her heart is going back to sinus rhythm and getting out of heart block.
She will need a pace maker.
So, that means…back in the OR tomorrow or Thursday…. back thru her chest, getting intubated, chest tube…..everything I hate hate hate..
WRESTLING…..
I broke into tears.
I wanted to beat on God’s chest.
I hate that she has to go back under the knife.
why couldn’t He have just given us this break and healed her heart block and performed this miracle?
yes, I am mad.
but only because I was choosing to be mad instead of choosing to remain thankful….
I am choosing to question GOD instead of trusting.
The nurse hugged me and said to see it like this:
“You can finally get out of “limbo” “
We’ve been in limbo for 3 weeks…..
Now, we can set our sights on HOME
SURRENDER ….and thankfulness
He is GOD and I am not
I am humbled.
God has done mighty miracles
He has created a heart in Gianna that can last her her whole life….a heart that is FULLY restored
God is performing mighty miracles of healing through the works of modern medicine, the skilled hands of these gifted surgeons.
Surgeons who are performing surgeries that NO one else in the world will attempt.
God led us here and He will finish what HE started in the way that
HE chooses.
What a miracle that GOD LED US HERE to this amazing hospital and this amazing surgeon….
So…..
I will choose to SURRENDER, yet again
be thankful.
I will choose TRUST
and I will choose HOPE….
being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion<span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NIV-29368A" data-link="(A)” style=”background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: ‘Helvetica Neue’, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; position: relative; text-align: start; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;”> until the day of Christ Jesus.
(Phil 1:6)
PRAYER REQUESTS:
- pray for Gianna to recover quickly from this 3rd surgery so we can GET HOME
- for a fast extubation and removal of chest tubes
- no pain or discomfort
- strength for this weary mama
- peace and protection for my warrior
- for a successful surgery that will be smooth and easy and FAST
- GOD can still heal that heart block. PRAY that HE WOULD DO THAT!
but if He chooses not to then I will keep reminding myself that GOD is GOD and I am not….I will TRUST.
Look how far He has brought my brave strong Gianna Lilyfaith.
THIS IS ALL HIM.
TO HIM BE THE GLORY
“He performs wonders that cannot be fathomed, miracles that cannot be counted” (Job 5:9).
Oh Sweet mama, I know this has got to be the hardest time ever!!! I'm sorry to hear about the pacemaker need. Your faith is amazing and God is so great! I know He brought her to you all and will heal her in His way. Contd prayers and hugs and encouragement and take heart that HE has her and loves her SO much!!!