For those who groan with a grief that is just not translated with human language or comforted with human words or thoughts…this post is for you…
For those who fiercely walk close to the broken-hearted and worry and wonder if light will ever come back to them….this post is for you….
For those who bravely enter the grieving journey with the ones they love and desire to carry the burden and pray for them … this post is for you…..
For those who have a hard time understanding that Grief is, in fact, not a linear predictable process….but rather a life-long journey of mess of wrestling and war and surrender which ebbs and flows and comes in waves and storms…. This post is for you….
For those who are shocked that a dear grieving one’s personality and whole being is being changed by deep loss and you worry so much for them….this post is for you…
For those who want to be the HOLDERS OF HOPE for the broken…
I want to thank you for daring to go to those broken places with the one’s you hate to see hurting….
This post is for you…..This is how to hold the hope for them…. This is how to trust our God with their pain….
Let them Lament…
LET THEM WAR on…,
Let them Wrestle…
Let them LAMENT
.
Because….The deepest surrender only comes after a greater war…..
So….just Let her wrestle with her GOD.
Let her voice her harsh truths.
Let her scream her bitter words.
Let her throw her plates at the sidewalk.
Let her raise her fist to heaven.
Let her face her God
Let her question her faith, her life, her purpose, her love.
Let her question her GOD and His love
Let her complain to Him
There is no surrender without a war.
Let her be mad.
Let her sit in her grief for as long as she needs.
Let her WAIL
Let her GROAN
There is no timeline.
“Blessed are those who mourn.”
Do not force her heart
Do not rush her
Do not force her hand
Do not force her mind
Do not force the verses
Do not force YOUR story
Do not give her your answers
Do not offer cliches
Do not try to fix her.
Do not reject her broken places.
Do not be afraid of her broken parts.
Weep with her
Wail with her
Walk with her
Wait with her
Wrestle with her
Be wrecked with her
Let her lament
Do not be afraid of her questions…He is not
Do not be afraid of her doubt….He is not
Do not be afraid of her darkness…He is not
Do not be afraid of her words…He is not
Do not be afraid of her unbelief…He is not
Do not be afraid of her shadows…He is not.
Do not be afraid of her lack of faith…He is not
Do not be afraid of her ugly…He is not
Do not be afraid of her anger….He is not
Do not be afraid of her BROKEN….He is not
DO not be afraid of her unbelief….He IS NOT!
HE HOLDS HER.
He made her.
He knows her.
Do not be afraid of her Wrestling match with her daddy in Heaven
He is “her” daddy.
He can take it.
He loves her more than anyone ever can
Do not be afraid of her broken places.
Her broken places will become her doorways of light
Do not be afraid of her broken offering to Him
It is in this offering of her lament that His heart takes such delight
He does not waiver
He is faithful
He does not change
He is Constant
He can take it
He understands her deeper sorrows better than anyone
He is acquainted with all her sadness more than anyone
He is her daddy in Heaven
He sacrificed his only Son for her
Anger does not make HIM turn away.
He only runs closer to her.
In her deep Lament, He is pulling her so very close
In her deep Lament, He is holding her
In her deep Lament, He is not offended by her
In her deep Lament, He is not holding it against her
In her deep Lament, He is not disappointed
In her deep Lament, His loving arms hold her firmly near HIM
In her deep Lament, He is catching all her tears
In her deep Lament, He quiets her
In her deep Lament, He stills her heart with His whisper
In her deep Lament, He is not shaking his head at her
In her deep Lament, He loves her like never before
In her deep Lament,
He is showing her the way through her wilderness
In her deep Lament, he reveals His majesty
In her deep Lament, He shows her the Cross anew
In her deep Lament, He wraps His pierced and scarred hands around her broken places
In her deep Lament, He weeps with her
In her deep Lament, He is translating her deepest groans
In her deep Lament, He reveals a Deeper love
In her deep Lament, He shows goodness that can be seen no where else
In her deep Lament…..
HE. NEVER. LETS. GO.
In her deep Lament…
He gets to show her more of HIMSELF
In her deep Lament, He is showing her hidden treasures in the secret dark places.
it is only In her deep Lament that she is learning that
“what is TRUE in the light is STILL true in the dark.”
In her deep Lament, she is learning to see
In her deep Lament, She is kneeling before Him
In her deep Lament, He is giving her Oxygen
In her deep Lament…. He is carrying her wounded soul.
It is in this deep Lament that He shows Himself faithful, true and GOOD
she gets to be wrecked
She gets to wrestle to find these truths because…
He is her Daddy in heaven and she is His daughter …
HE DOES NOT TURN AWAY WHEN SHE THROWS ANGER AT HIM
He allows her to bang on His chest
You do not have to protect Her Daddy from her
You do not have to be His advocate.
He can take her.
He is bigger.
Because it is In the midst of her wrestling
….She is discovering a love that will never walk away..
HE wraps her with unconditional LOVE and reveals a “LIVING HOPE”
He never. Lets. Go
So just Let her Lament with Her Daddy…
For as long as it takes….
she needs to find these treasures…
She needs space to LAMENT…..because this is her only way forward…
…There is just no other way through this wilderness to find her peace.
Her daddy in heaven will NEVER EVER TURN AWAY FROM HER.
He sent HIS son to die for her.
He loves her THAT much.
Her punches don’t scare Him.
He can take it.
He embraces Her
HE WILL NEVER ABANDON HER
He is with her in this valley…
and what a precious truth for her to discover
She will look back and see He never walked away.
When she wrestles Him…. SHE IS so much CLOSER TO HIM
Through Wrestling, her heart remains open
Through Wrestling, she faces Her darkness
Through Wrestling, she discovers His light
Through Wrestling, she learns to worship in the pain
Through Wrestling, she unearths a truth
Through Wrestling, her anthem will be lifted
Through Wrestling, she learns to accept His Joy with her sorrow
Through Wrestling, her heart is positioned to be touched by only Him
Through Wrestling, God will write His promises on her soul
Through Wrestling, she discovers a God who is so very intimate
Through Wrestling, her soul is humbled
Through Wrestling, her eyes are opened
Through Wrestling, her wounds receive a balm
Through her GREAT Wrestling match with GOD….
He is comforting her like only He can…
so just Let her Lament.
This is holy ground
In the midst of her Lament…
She is learning to surrender.
He is showing her the gift of Eternity
…and In this battle….
He is forging a new Hope and giving her a New Song
.….So Let her Lament with her daddy…..
For in those deep holy places…
a NEW LOVE SONG WILL RISE
Psalm 13
I’m hurting, Lord—will you forget me forever?[b]
How much longer, Lord?
Will you look the other way when I’m in need?[c]
2 How much longer must I cling to this constant grief?
I’ve endured this shaking of my soul.
So how much longer will my enemy have the upper hand?
It’s been long enough!
3 Take a good look at me, God, and answer me!
Breathe your life into my spirit.
Bring light to my eyes in this pitch-black darkness
or I will sleep the sleep of death.
4 Don’t let my enemy proclaim, “I’ve prevailed over him.”
For all my adversaries will celebrate when I fall.
5 Lord, I have always trusted in your kindness, so answer me.
I will yet celebrate with passion and joy
when your salvation[d] lifts me up.
6 I will sing my song of joy to you, the Most High,
for in all of this you have strengthened my soul.
My enemies say that I have no Savior,
but I know that I have one in you!
This honestly captures everything about my grief (my brother who was my best friend died this year unexpectedly and traumatically at 39) and what I wish others knew. This is it. Lament. Broken, wailing, shrieking cries. And the wrestling. Oh the wrestling. In the Passion Translation Psalm 46 it says “For He brings ruin and revival.” Ruin and Revival. That’s it. It’s broken and messy but glory is coming through it all. Thanks for writing this. Because this is what my heart has been screaming and wanting to tell everyone around me who is afraid of the wrestling and the darkness. I haven’t been. I know God is in both. And light is coming. Thank you.
Amen sister. Our broken hearts were created for eternity….. Deep Loss multiplies the groans and aches within us. It’s almost unbearable, except for the truth of our Living Hope …. I’m so sorry for your loss💔. Praying now for you. Weeping with you. Clinging to HOPE with you.
Amen sister. Wrestling and weeping and clinging desperately to HOPE with you. 😢💔❤️