Eternity Matters More.

This month is very special for our family and the ocean is exactly where we needed to be.

It was 7 years ago. In August of 2013 when I got a message from one of my closest friends, Maggie.

She said, “Johanna! A 19 month old baby girl with a very special heart just popped up on an agency waiting child list!”

I didn’t even go look at the photo or details. I just called the agency and said “please send me her file! I know this is our daughter!”

I knew that I KNEW this was the baby God had been whispering to my heart for years. It was a supernatural something that came over me. God just took over!
They sent her file just as we were preparing to leave for the beach. We read it and there were so many scary words and an unsure prognosis.

Nothing felt logical or reasonable but God’s voice was realer than ever and We knew He was inviting us.

She was our daughter and she needed a family and love trumped all logic. Daddy prayed and wrestled and fasted and struggled with fear. Fear of all the unknowns.
We spent many hours by the water on that beach praying as the waves crashed over us. I prayed God would move the mountain of fear that was paralyzing her daddy. And her daddy prayed for a faith that was bigger than his overwhelming fear. For a faith that trumps all logic.
God spoke:

“She is your daughter. Do. Not. Fear. I will go with you. I will carry you through deep waters. Go to her!”

(Is. 41:10)

All His Grace.

Faith will always trump logic.
I’m so thankful FEAR did not win.

And although we had to face our greatest fear eventually and achingly walk our precious 6 year old baby girl to Jesus.

We’ve learned that to lose on earth is not the greatest tragedy at all….

No, the ultimate sorrow is to protect your heart from losing and to choose to not love at all.

To choose to not follow God out Into the unknown where Life begins is to miss true life. To choose Self preservation over love would have been our greatest nightmare. Playing it safe would have been our greatest loss.

Choosing fear and logic over love and faith is the greatest grief we could have ever known.

We could have missed our treasure.

Our GiaBia forever teaches us all about Jesus’ kind of love. A LOVE that risks all. sacrifices all. And forsakes all earthly wisdom.
Love has no room for fear in His kingdom.
True eternal treasures are unearthed out in the deep where radical Love bubbles over. Though you feel so unsafe and the waves knock you over, it’s on this holy ground where God catches you. This is the sacred space where God is so real because He is needed like never before.

I don’t think we ever came back to shore-life after saying Yes to our GiaBia and we don’t ever want to. You see, We’ve seen His Holy face out in the deep and Her precious life is worth far too much for us to ever settle for anything less than an eternal perspective and a Jesus way of love and life.

Earth’s glitter can’t hold a candle to eternal lit-up heavenly treasures that never fade away.

Life is clearer when following Jesus with abandonment. Because, simply put: what’s lost is what’s gained.

We know we never lost our Gia baby, we just had to let her run ahead of us into glory where she waits for us.

She’s a trailblazer, that sassy baby-girl of ours. She gets to see with her own beautiful brown eyes what we believe in our hearts as we deeply grieve her physical absence on earth. We know she shouts, “it’s all true!” It’s all worth it!”

So, We will choose to love dangerously, to love deeper, to love illogically and to love unsafely because that’s how Jesus loved us when He died for us and made a way to heaven. It didn’t make sense and it sure was not logical for a perfect man to die for us sinners. But His death brought us life.

In God’s Economy death blooms life. Death never wins. Life wins. Our Gianna is Alive not dead. Because what’s lost on earth, in His name, is returned 100 -fold in heaven.”
We never ever lose when we follow God.
God knows the story and we can trust Him.
While we were still waiting for our Gianna Lilyfaith to come home and just weeks before flying to China, we learned of a dear family’s heart baby suddenly going to heaven and the Sadness completely overwhelmed us. All the what-if’s crashed over me in a tsunami storm of fear. I wrote to my dear friend, Maggie, these words:

“there are times that I am gripped with so much fear, but then I have to remember that God chose us. He knows.”

On April 18, 2014 Maggie wrote back to me:

“Absolutely… Johanna… No matter the outcome, Gianna wins…
As Christians we know that it is not about this life, it’s about eternal life. I do not know God’s plans but I know that you stand on the word of God…Gianna will know who her Lord and Savior is. So if she lives for 30 years or 100 years on this earth. She will have eternal life with Him!”

These were sacred words. 😭🙌🏻

And Immediately all logical fear washed away in radical love.

And that was exactly four years from the terrible day that we would get the devastating news of Gianna’s brain bleed on April 18, 2018.

The bleed that would be the final assault on her body after a long battle with heart failure. That fatal bleed on april 18 was the very thing that would catapult her into glory just four days later as we clung to her and wept and sang over her. We fought for Hope… but in eternity Hope never dies.
Gianna wins.
Love wins.
Life wins.

Eternity matters more and we will keep following our Jesus out into the deep where life is truly lived and true treasures are unearthed.

We know we don’t lose when we follow Jesus.

“He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose.”

-Jim Elliot

#chaseEternity #LiveGiaGrowForever